Ramiz Raja:
With his looks, he could have been two things in life after his blip in international cricket, either a star for a low budget porn movie (eventually a heartthrob of paki chicks) or a mascot for Pakistani cricket team as being the only player to be given out “obstructing the field”. But a country, which boasts of having fewer literate people than the number of children Tulsi Virani gave birth to, going by those standards, this man has the mind numbing potential of connecting a few words in English, thereby, concocting a sentence. As other educated ex Paki cricketers were busy betraying their own country or moaning because their wife was screwing someone else (read as Wasim Akram training Irfan Pathan and Jemima Khan doing Hugh Grant respectively) ICC sought Mr Raja to comment on cricket matches. And “Oh Boy!” (his sole contribution to the vocabulary of cricket) what foresight he had on a cricketing situations, some excerpts from his pathetic and “subtle” optimism.
"What a match! With 2 wickets remaining, Pakistan need 10 runs from 2 balls!
I don't see any reason for Pakistan to lose this".
"India need 6 runs from 6 balls with 5 wickets remaining, Pakistan can still snatch this one"
“India, might have won the T20 World Cup, but what a player Misbah Ul Haq!”
He might as well have said the cup should be jointly shared by India and Pakistan.
”WHAT? Oh boy! Sunny they just lost by 4 runs. A boundary. Just one shot, C’mon man okay we’ll split the prize money! ”
But coz I take the “Aman ki asha” campaign seriously I will end here by making an offer to him: “A free invite to join the mallu porn industry no audition required we are dead sure you’ll fit the bill perfectly. You may write your own script”. That’s the best our nation can offer to you!